Parent Support for Parents of Anxious Teens, Online in Washington, Illinois, Idaho & South Carolina

Lately every conversation with her ends with her bedroom door shutting.

You can love her so much and still feel on guard every time she walks into the room. You get support here too, with ideas you can use at home while she has a space that's all her own.

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You've probably already tried the phone getting taken away, the wifi going off, and sitting down with her to get through the homework together. When none of that moves the needle for long, it's hard to know what's left to try.

Behavior is communication, so a teen who looks checked out or disorganized is usually telling us something about what's happening on the inside. One fifteen-year-old put it to his mom as "my brain feels broken." Sometimes the kid who looks lazy is so worried about getting it wrong that she can't make herself start at all.

From where you're standing, it can look like a bad attitude, a messy room, and eleven hours of screen time on a school day.

Expectations on teens have climbed steadily over the last thirty years, and that pressure is the water your family is swimming in rather than something you caused.

Why I do this work

Most parents reach out because of what's important for their kid, and change happens when we also find what's important to her.

When a parent calls, it's usually about her health, her safety, and getting through school, and those matter. What I've seen over and over is that nothing really shifts until we also connect to what's important to her, the things that make her who she is. That's the part I help you both find, so you can get a little more calm and peace back in your home.

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Support in between sessions

You get parent coaching of your own while she's in therapy.

Parent support happens alongside her sessions, [with a parent check-in every X sessions], and it's your time to bring whatever is happening at home. We work on things like:

  • What to say when you ask how she's doing and get "it's fine" or nothing at all.

  • How to talk about anxiety at home without it turning into a lecture or a fight.

  • The phrases that shut teens down, like "just relax" or "we all have stress," and what to try instead.

  • What to do after her session, when you really want to ask what she talked about.

  • How to handle the mornings she says she can't go to school.

Quote break to parents

-Sarah Allen

The question you keep going back and forth on

You can't tell if you're helping her or letting her avoid things, and you're making that call by yourself at seven in the morning.

Letting her stay home on a hard morning can be exactly right one week and the reason the next week is worse. The same goes for taking something off her plate, or pushing her to go to the party anyway. There isn't one rule that covers it, because so much depends on what's driving it that day.

This is one of the most common things parents bring to a check-in, and we work through it situation by situation so you aren't guessing on your own.

About Sarah

I'm Sarah Allen, and I've spent my career helping families figure out what their kid is trying to tell them.

I've been a licensed counselor since 2009, with graduate training in school counseling and years of working with families of kids who needed more support than anyone knew how to give them. Parent support is a real part of how I work, not an afterthought, and a lot of my experience is in helping parents find what actually works at home.

Sarah Allen

[license titles by state] · Online in Washington, Illinois, Idaho, and South Carolina

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HOW IT WORKS

Here's how parent support fits alongside your teen's sessions

  1. We start with a free consult

    Just you, or both parents, to talk through what you're seeing at home and whether I'm the right fit for your family.

  2. You join the start of her first session

    We go over confidentiality and the business side together, so everyone knows how this works before she and I get started.

  3. Your check-ins happen alongside her sessions

    [Every X sessions], we meet to talk about what's happening at home and what to try next. You can also reach out between check-ins if something comes up.

  4. You'll know how she's doing

    You get a sense of how things are going and what helps at home, and she keeps a space that's her own.

Questions parents ask about their role

  • How can I help my teen with anxiety at home?

    Asking about her day before you ask about her feelings usually gets you further, because most teens open up more when there's less pressure on the conversation. After that it depends on your kid, which is what your check-ins are for, so you leave with things to try that fit your family instead of a list off the internet.

    HOW SESSIONS WORK

  • How much will I be involved in my teen's therapy?

    You'll join the start of her first session while we go over confidentiality and the business stuff, and after that you get parent support alongside her sessions, [every X sessions / included in the fee or $X]. You're welcome to reach out between check-ins if something comes up at home.

    SUPPORT FOR PARENTS

  • How do I support my teen after her therapy session?

    Asking how she's feeling goes over better than asking what she said. If she wants to tell you more, she will. Some teens are talkative right after a session and some need an hour to themselves first, and we can figure out which one she is.

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  • What if she says she won't talk to a stranger?

    Almost every teen feels that way before the first session, and the quiet ones are honestly some of my favorites. Nobody is going to stare at her and wait for her to talk, and she doesn't have to say much of anything on day one.

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  • We tried therapy before and nothing really changed. What's different?

    I ask every teen what they liked and hated about therapy before, and I'd rather build on what worked than repeat what didn't. If sessions with me aren't working either, I want to hear that early so we can change something or I can help you find a better fit. You can read more about how sessions go on the Teen Therapy page.

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  • What if I disagree with something you suggest?

    Tell me. You know your kid and your family better than anyone, and I'd much rather work it out with you than have you nodding along and doing something different at home.

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  • How do I get my teenager to agree to go to therapy?

    Forcing it usually backfires, so I'd start by telling her what therapy is and what it isn't, and letting her ask questions. You're welcome to show her the [Teen Therapy] page so she can see who she'd be talking to before she decides.

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  • What if my partner doesn't think she needs therapy?

    The free consult is open to both of you, so your partner can ask questions directly and hear how I work before anyone decides anything.

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  • What if my teen won't go at all?

    You can start with support for yourself. Working on what's happening at home takes real pressure off, and sometimes that's what makes her more open to trying.

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  • Will therapy show up on her college applications?

    Therapy isn't part of her school record or her college applications, and I don't share anything with her school without your written permission.

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Confidentiality

You'll know how she's doing without hearing what she said.

What she tells me in session stays between us, and I tell her that at the very start. The exception is if I'm ever worried about her safety, and in that case you'll hear from me. Outside of that, you'll get a general sense of how things are going and what you can do at home to help, which is usually the part parents need most anyway.

READY TO GET STARTED

If any of this sounds like your house right now, I'd love to hear from you.

We can start with a free consultation, just you, to talk through what you're seeing at home and whether I'm the right fit for your family.

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