Teen Anxiety Therapy Online in Washington, Illinois, Idaho & South Carolina

Your brain won't shut off long enough for you to fall asleep.

You've probably already tried telling yourself to stop thinking about it, and that never really works. We figure out what's actually going on and what to do when it starts.

LET'S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER →

Teen anxiety is your body reacting to something it reads as dangerous when nothing dangerous is happening, and for a lot of teens it shows up in the body before anyone calls it anxiety. Your chest goes tight in third period. Your stomach hurts every Sunday night. Your hands shake before a test, or you can hear your own heartbeat in your ears. Then you lie down at eleven and your brain picks through a two-second conversation from lunch until two in the morning.

What is teen anxiety, and what does it actually feel like?

A normal class period or an ordinary Tuesday can set it off, which is why telling yourself to stop thinking about it doesn't work, and why people telling you to relax is so annoying.

A lot of teens ask me some version of whether this is anxiety or whether they're just being dramatic. You don't have to answer that before you talk to somebody, because sorting it out is part of what we do together.

How anxiety shows up in teens

Anxiety doesn't always look like worrying, which is why it goes unnoticed for so long.

Here's what I see most often with the teens I work with.

  • Overthinking

    Replaying conversations, rewriting a text six times before sending it, deciding what everybody thought of you.

  • Body stuff

    Stomach aches, headaches, a tight chest, shaky hands, trouble catching your breath.

  • Sleep

    Taking hours to fall asleep, or waking up at five with your brain already going.

  • Avoiding Things

    Skipping a class, saying no to plans, putting off an assignment until it's way bigger than it needed to be.

  • Perfectionism

    Homework taking four hours, or not turning something in at all because it still isn't good enough.

  • Anger and shutting down

    Snapping at everybody at home, slamming a door, or going quiet and answering in one word.

  • Needing to be sure

    Asking the same question again, checking and rechecking, wanting somebody to promise it'll be fine.

Anxiety in teen girls and anxiety in teen boys often get noticed at different points.

Girls are more likely to say out loud that they're worried, and with boys it tends to come out as irritability, checking out, or physical complaints, so it gets read as attitude for a lot longer before anyone realizes anxiety may be underneath it.

What causes teen anxiety

What causes teen anxiety, and when should you start to worry about it?

Family stuff, friendships, and figuring out who you are apart from everybody else have always come with this age. What's newer is having the whole world at your fingertips, where you can compare yourself to everyone you know at eleven at night, and school is starting to feel like it decides the rest of your life. Feeling anxious in the middle of all that makes sense.

Anxiety stops being a rough patch when it starts taking things from you. When you're losing sleep, missing school, pulling back from friends, or dropping something you used to love, that's usually when talking to somebody helps. You don't need a diagnosis or a crisis before you reach out.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK

‏𖤓

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK ‏𖤓

What we work on

You learn what anxiety feels like in your body and what to do when it shows up.

Most of what we do is practical. We work out where anxiety tends to hit for you, what sets it off, and what actually helps in the moment, so you have something to use on a Tuesday and not just a nice idea from a session.

We also look at the thoughts underneath it. CBT is really about uncrossing the wires in your brain, so when it tells you everyone's annoyed with you or that one grade decides your future, you have a way to check that before you take it as fact. You don't have to believe everything you think.

And we work on getting back into things. Not all at once, and not by throwing you into the thing you're dreading, but piece by piece until your life stops getting smaller.

What being on the other side of this usually looks like:

  • You catch the thought spiral before it takes over the whole night

  • You know what anxiety feels like in your body and where it tends to show up for you

  • You're sleeping better

  • You're trying things you would have talked yourself out of a year ago

  • You sound like yourself again

The question you keep going back and forth on

You keep going back and forth on whether to push her or let it go.

Letting her stay home on a hard morning can be exactly right one week and the reason the next week is worse. There isn't one rule that covers it, because so much depends on what's driving it that day.

Behavior is communication, so when a teen starts avoiding things or snapping at everyone at home, she's telling us something, and my job is to help her figure out what. You get support alongside her sessions, including what to do on the mornings she says she can't go to school, and how to talk about anxiety at home without it turning into a fight.

MORE ABOUT PARENT SUPPORT →

Questions teens and parents ask about anxiety therapy

  • When should I worry about my teen's anxiety?

    Stress usually has an end date, like a test on Friday. Start paying attention when the worry sticks around after the thing is over, or when it's costing her sleep, school, friends, or things she used to enjoy. You don't need to be sure before you reach out, and sorting that out is part of our first conversation.

  • How do I help my teen with anxiety at home?

    Asking about her day before you ask about her feelings usually gets you further, and skipping "just relax" or "we all have stress" helps more than most parents expect, because those are the two things teens name as what shuts them down. What works after that depends on your kid, and parents get support of their own alongside her sessions, so you leave with things to try that fit your family. More about parent support.

  • What kind of therapy works for teen anxiety?

    I mostly use CBT, along with DBT skills for the moments when feelings get really big. In practice that means learning what's happening in your body, catching the thoughts that spiral, and working back toward the things you've been avoiding.

  • Do coping strategies and anxiety apps actually help?

    They can, and they tend to work better once she knows what's happening in her body and what sets it off. An app can remind her to breathe, and it can't notice that the tightness always hits in third period or help her work back toward something she's been avoiding. We build the skills together in session so they fit her actual week.

  • Is this anxiety or am I just overreacting?

    Teens ask me some version of this all the time, and it's a fair question. If it's affecting your sleep, your school, or whether you want to go places, it's worth talking about no matter what we end up calling it. You don't have to be falling apart to deserve help with it.

  • How long does therapy take to help with anxiety?

    It depends on you, so I won't give you a number. We usually meet weekly while things feel heavier, then space sessions out as you get more comfortable using what you've learned. You should start getting a feel early on for whether this is helping, and I want to hear it if you don't.

  • My teen already takes medication for anxiety. Can therapy still help?

    It's really common for teens to be on medication for a while before they ever try therapy. Medication can take the edge off, and therapy is where she learns what the feeling is, where it shows up in her body, and what to do in the moment. I don't prescribe, so medication questions stay with her doctor.

Related specialties:

  • High-Achieving Teens

    When nothing you do ever feels good enough

    LEARN MORE →

  • School Stress

    When school has started to feel like way too much

    LEARN MORE →

  • Teen Therapy

    How sessions work and what to expect

    LEARN MORE →

READY TO GET STARTED?

If any of this sounds like you, or like your kid, I'd love to hear from you.

We can start with a free consult to talk through what's going on and figure out whether I'm the right fit.

LET'S TALK →